look no pants
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
