I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
