Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Actions speak louder than pants.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
