found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
