I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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