Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
