No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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