Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
