plz talk dirty to me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
