mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
