Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
