Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
