when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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