your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
