Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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