this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
