I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
