great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
