yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
