Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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