it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
