Yo dont text me then not text me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
