so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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