Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
