saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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