Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
