He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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