Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
