I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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