So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
