when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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