Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
