ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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