I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
