i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
