i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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