he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
