I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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