anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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