I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
