he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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