My liver just broke up with me...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
