I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
