omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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