I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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