I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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