Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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