did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
