p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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