if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
