When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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