sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
