Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
