Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
