i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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