i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
