normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
